


My Values

by Elizabeth_512, Sarah_551 (Elizabeth_512)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Equality, Essays, Honesty, Love, Loyalty, My Values, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-12-15 00:39:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11794821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elizabeth_512/pseuds/Elizabeth_512, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elizabeth_512/pseuds/Sarah_551
Summary: Last year I wrote an essay on four of my values for one of my classes. I wanted to share them here and add more of my values as well.





	1. Introduction

I thought a lot about what four values to include in this essay. The first two were really easy to pick, as they were the first two things that came to mind when I thought about my values. The last two were a little harder to come up with, I have a few that tie, but when I thought really hard (and looked at a list), I found them. They just made sense to me. So I have come up with honesty, loyalty, equality, and love. I know, I know. Cliche, but they are what make me, me. These are things that make me who I am, and some people have had a hard time with that, and I had to let them go, no matter how much it hurt. Some people have gotten tired of me, and that’s okay. I understand that I just don’t fit into their mold of what a friend should do. I’m weird, I get that. I’m a nerd, I love to read, I love anime and manga, and music and writing, and volleyball, and figure skating. I’m not normal, and sometimes my values clash with others and they have a hard time accepting that my opinions and values don’t exactly match theirs. I know that, and I don’t let it bother me. I’m an only child, and sometimes I’m not like an only child. I’m different and that’s okay. I have friends who accept that, and ex-friends who couldn’t. That’s okay. My values may be normal, they may be different. Depends on your point of view. This essay highlights four of them.

I have since added four more values to this essay (and I may add more), which was written in December of 2016, and those are: acceptance, independence, justice, and respect. 


	2. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honesty... Where would any of us be without it?

Honesty is my first value, and one of my two most important. If you aren’t honest, how can you have trust? How can you make friends? I know, people tell white lies all the time. I’m not talking about those. I’m talking about big lies, lies that could damage a relationship, be it with your friends, your boyfriend/girlfriend, or your family. Lies are what destroy trust and honesty builds them. I’m not saying that I’m perfect, that I haven’t told a lie such as that, but I’m saying I’ve learned what a lie like that can do. I’ve learned that honesty is very important or you could lose people important to you.

To me, dishonesty makes me feel like I’ve been betrayed, be it by someone I could be friends with, my family, or my friends. I find it hard to trust someone who is constantly dishonest, and eventually I can no longer be friends, or acquaintances with this person. I also find that you can’t be friends with a person who lies about trusting you, when it is clear they don’t. Trust goes both ways, and if you don’t have trust you can’t have a relationship with them. I recently found that you also need to be honest with yourself. If you love someone, admit that to yourself, even if they don’t love you back. Admit to yourself if a friend has hurt you, don’t deny it. Don’t deny anything. Not to yourself, that only backfires on you in the end.

I see the effects of honesty, and dishonesty, in books, movies, TV, and even music. In shows like Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, or any other cop/detective shows, any lie can damage an investigation and lead to distrust of the liar. It’s hard to trust those people again. In music, we usually hear the aftermath, or the effect of a dishonesty, such as cheating on their significant other. One such example is “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. What she does in her song may not be the best thing to do to a cheater, but she’s essentially showing him that dishonesty will get him nowhere and one day he’ll have no one, and he’ll be alone. I think that’s exactly what occurs with someone who’s dishonest. I would hate to find myself truly alone because of my own actions. Actions that I could have chosen to not take.

Honesty isn’t something I take lightly and I’ve found that I must first be honest with myself, then my family and friends, and finally those I wish to get closer to. To me honesty is not something you can stretch and manipulate to your will. Honesty is not “put off” or “done later”, it must be done now, and always. White lies like, “I’m not going to eat that.” or “I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.” don’t do any harm, and I’m not talking about those. I mean big lies, like I said. I believe that good things come to, not only those who wait, but those who are honest, loyal, support all equality, and support love, all love, not just platonic, or romantic. 


	3. Loyalty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loyalty.... Who are you loyal to?

Loyalty is the other of my two most important values. I myself am fiercely loyal and I could even consider that to be my fatal flaw. Someone could stab me in the back twice and I’d still be loyal to them, never saying anything that could damage their reputation or make people hate them, even if I hate them myself. Loyalty is probably my way of partly showing what kind of person I am. My loyalty may come back to bite me one day, but I don’t care. This is me. I’m not ashamed of it either. 

I think that a few people may say that I’m not loyal, or I’m not as loyal as I claim, but they’re wrong. I may get angry and vent, but I will never use names if I vent and a lot of people can hear. If I just have to type it and have it somewhere a lot of people can see, I don’t use names either. I used to have a friend, one that I considered a sort of sister, and we may no longer be friends, but I’m probably still loyal to her, and I’d never lie, that’s the honesty shining through, I guess, and make a person hate her. It’s not me. I can’t do that, no matter how hard I can try.

With everything I have in me, I share my most fatal flaw, and I’m not even going to flinch. I believe so strongly in this value because I have never had it fail me. I have never once had my loyalty come back to bite me. I have lost friends and acquaintances, but never because of my loyalty. I think that loyalty is not a bad trait to have. Unless it could be considered your fatal flaw. Maybe you should tone it down a bit. Oh, wait… Maybe  _ I _ should tone it down a bit. I know I won’t though. I can’t imagine being someone with no loyalties. No  _ values _ . It’s lost on me because of the strength in which I believe in both of these things.

I’m having a hard time figuring out how to put my feelings into words. I guess I could say I feel hurt when someone questions my loyalty. I have a hard time reigning in my anger when someone does. Loyalty, to me, is so important, and ingrained very deeply into my personality, along with honesty. I’m not sure who I would be if it weren’t. I don’t think I’d be me that’s for sure. People probably wouldn’t like me very much.

Everyone has the tiniest bit of loyalty in them. They’re loyal to themselves if they aren’t loyal to anyone else. They’re loyal to celebrities, or books, or music, or authors. Sometimes loyalty can save you, keep you from doing something stupid. However, sometimes, it can push you to believe a lie, and you act on impulse, hurting people around you. Loyalty begins with honesty, things the person themselves says or the words on a page. Then, equality. You must feel equal to them in some way. Finally, love comes in. You must like the thing or person, in order to feel loyal to this thing or person. At least that’s what I do. Maybe it’s different for you. After all, my values could be different than yours.


	4. Equality

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Equality... What can we do to achieve it?

Even though honesty and loyalty are my top two for me, I think equality should be the most important value for the whole human race. We forget that without it, we will never get anywhere. We are all human, and so what if a girl is smarter than a white man? So what if a black man or a Hispanic man is the better man for the job than a white man? Our gender, skin color, race, sexual orientation, shouldn’t matter. I think that when I look for a relationship or a friend, I look for someone who sees me as an equal. Someone I can have conversations with, without feeling judged or looked down upon. Someone who values my opinion.

I have maybe 5 friends. All of which I view as my equals. This is because I know what it’s like to be looked down upon, or seen as inferior because I’m a girl, or because I’m not white. I see equality as necessary when I talk to anyone. I’ve come across too many people who have viewed me as inferior to them, and I have to rein in my anger and my tongue. A few years ago I knew a guy who was very sexist, but he was subtle about it. He never said anything sexist to your face, but behind your back, he would say way too many things. Well at first. Eventually, he would talk to my face, and I knew that I despised him. We went to different schools though, thank goodness. I may have had to murder a pillow or two if we hadn’t.

I see inequality everywhere, and I hate to bring up anything, but I believe in equality to the point that I must talk about it. First though, let me define what I think of as inequality. Inequality is treating anyone as though they are inferior, or like they are nothing more than trash, or worse. When I say “anyone”, I mean everyone, both male and female, black, white, or any other race, special needs, nerds, geeks, LGBTQ+, or anything else I may have missed. Whether it’s a black man being shot by a white man, a black man shooting a police officer, the shooting in Orlando, or the most recent, a special needs man kidnapped and tortured by four black people, I see it all as inequality. All of it.

Unfortunately, I must bring up the one example of inequality that is hard for me to talk about. Mr. Donald Trump, president-elect, and Mr. Mike Pence, vice president-elect. Mr. Trump believes that _all_  Muslims are bad, and Mexicans are rapists and criminals. Mr. Pence believes that women can’t possibly control their own bodies, and that shocking you can cure you of being LGBTQ+. To me, they view these people as inferior, causing inequality.

Most don’t understand the fear caused by the results of the election. Those people have what you’d call “White Privilege”. They usually aren’t the victims of inequality. They don’t have to fear the inequality that may come from this election.This inequality hurts me because I believe in it very strongly. Without equality, how do you have love? Or loyalty to the right cause? Or even honesty?


	5. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love... Don't we all wish for it?

Love. Without it, what would we have? We would be left with nothing but hate, fear, and negative emotions. You need love to feel happy. This is one of my values because I believe everything is dependent on love. I have to like my friends a little bit, and like, in my mind, is the first stage of love, be it platonic or romantic. I believe that my life functions off of the love and like I have for people, pets, and things. “Things” being my love for reading, my love for certain music/songs, etc. I don’t know much about romantic love from personal experience. I’ve only loved one person, but they didn’t love me back, so it ended right there. I’m better versed in platonic love, that between me and my friends, or me and my family. I know that a friend can break your heart just as easily as someone you love romantically. It hurts just as much, and it is real. 

Love may not be very high on my values list, but I had to include this in my essay because I hardly get to voice my opinion on my values, and while I may have one or two more important to me than this, I needed to share this one.  I know that I’ve thought a couple of times,  _ Where has love ever gotten me? I could live without it. _ , but I’ve come to see that I need it, just like it needs us. Even if it seems like all you’ve ever gotten from love is pain and suffering, wait. You’ll see that love isn’t out to get you. I may have just come to realize some of these things a little while back, and it may be a new addition to my list of values, but it’s one now. I’m not going to sit back, and not share this, when every fiber of my being tells me that I have to, that I  _ need _ to. 

Love isn’t a choice. You can’t choose to love someone. You can’t choose to fall out of “love”. You can’t choose who you love like a brother or sister, or a mother or father. I choose to embrace that and take what’s thrown at me. I also choose to tell those I love that I love them, even if it’s not reciprocated. You may not ever see them again. I may not always “live in the moment”, or “live every day like it’s your last”, but that has nothing to do with this. It has nothing to do with love being one of my values. Guaranteed.

I can’t push you to make this one of your values, but if you do, your life isn’t going to get worse. It may not get better though, either. Not for a while at least, but it will. Eventually, it will. It has to. Love isn’t all pain, but it isn’t all good. It’s heartbreak, joy, pain, ups, downs, and everything in between. In order for love to bloom though, you must have some loyalty, a lot of honesty, and believe that everyone is equal. I know, I know, I kept bringing it back to my other values, but it’s what I do every day, and I can’t express myself well if I don’t link each value back to the others, because, well that wouldn’t be me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last of my already written values, so the next one will be newly written. Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for reading this, I haven't really shared much of anything I've written so I wanted to share this.


End file.
